


Don't You Remember?

by lovelarry10



Series: Who Do I Run To? [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Concerts, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Making Love, Making Up, Sad, Sad Louis, they never stopped loving each other, they weren't properly broken up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 19:20:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14315448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelarry10/pseuds/lovelarry10
Summary: Louis nearly broke everything - himself, his relationship, everything that meant anything to him.But Harry never gave up on him.





	Don't You Remember?

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the Adele song, 'Don't You Remember'
> 
> I wrote this in just about 2 hours so I hope it's okay. Comments and kudos are always welcome. Thank you for reading.
> 
> Come and chat with me on Twitter:  
>  **lovelarry10:** [ @oneolddirection ](https://twitter.com/oneolddirection)

 

“Um, I have a ticket being held here for me?” Louis said nervously, looking to the man at the small desk to the side of the venue. He pulled his beanie down, keen that none of Harry’s fans entering the venue would spot him. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to be here, if he was being honest, but he’d promised Anne and he couldn’t let her down. She’d been there for him more than he deserved and he knew attending this show tonight meant the world to her.

“Name?” the gruff voice spoke, looking up at him through the grimy window. He looked at Louis without a jot of recognition, eyebrow raised and waiting for an answer.

“Um, Louis,” he said softly, eyes still darting around. The man turned to a box and flicked through, pulling out an envelope with a hastily scrawled ‘Lou’ across the front.

“This you?” the man said again and Louis nodded and thanked him, picking up the envelope from the desk and heading back to his car, which he’d parked down a small side alley, somewhere he wouldn’t be seen. As he sat himself down on the plush leather seats, he tore open the envelope and pulled out the rectangular piece of paper, sighing as he slid it into his wallet for safe keeping. His eyes caught on a bright pink piece of paper still nestled in the envelope, and gently pulled it out.

He unfolded it and a security pass fell out, something familiar to Louis and he bit his lip, reading the note in a familiar handwriting.

_“Thank you for agreeing to come to the show Lou. Come backstage if you want, you’re always welcome, you know that. I hope to see you. H x”_

Louis tucked the piece of paper into his glovebox and drove off, heading down the road to the hotel he’d been staying at while he was back in the UK. He’d felt lost recently, not feeling like anywhere he’d been was home, and he didn’t quite know how to deal with Harry’s note. He’d ignored the multitude of texts that had flooded his phone recently, from Harry, Niall, Liam and even his sisters. He hadn’t felt like communicating with the world at all, he knew his fans on Twitter were getting concerned by his absence, but Louis found it hard to care at that moment.

A few minutes later, and finally back in the safety of his hotel room, he slumped on the big bed in the middle of his room, craning his neck so he could look out on the skyline of London, bathed in beautiful spring sunshine. He could hear his phone vibrating on the table where he’d chucked it as he’d walked into the room but he ignored it, as he always did. He let his eyes flutter closed, a strange sense of calm and forboding washing over him as he allowed his thoughts to drift to the past six months, and how he’d ruined everything.

*****

There wasn’t one thing Louis could put his finger on that changed everything. He’d woken up in his and Harry’s home as he often did, but things felt different. He went about his usual routine; writing in the studio, shopping, answering emails from their management team, but something was off. Louis felt entirely disconnected from the world around him, and he knew Harry had noticed. He’d tried to be affectionate and caring about Louis, more so than usual, but it riled Louis. He brushed off Harry’s touches, turned to receive kisses on his cheeks rather than his lips, and ensured he went to bed long after Harry had fallen asleep, not wanting to engage in any kind of conversation.

In the end, it had been Louis that had broken everything. Harry had gone out of his way to cook Louis a lovely meal to cheer him up, one of his favourites but still, Louis didn’t eat it. He picked at it, shuffling the food around his plate with his knife and fork, Harry chatting away happily as he tucked in, trying not to draw attention to the fact his boyfriend wasn’t touching his food.

“-don’t you think Lou?” came the question, Harry popping another fork of lasagne into his mouth, eyes flitting up to meet Louis’ cold blue ones. He sighed as he realised Louis hadn’t been listening. “I’ll just shut up then…” Harry tailed off, looking forlorn as he suddenly lost his appetite.

“Good idea.” Louis said harshly, eyes fixed on his still-full dinner plate now. He heard Harry’s breath hitch as he reacted to the words, and suddenly, there was a scrape of wood across the kitchen tiles as Harry shoved his chair back, stalking out of the room, biting back a sob. Louis clenched his fists and sighed deeply, resting his elbows on the table, dropping his head down into his hands. This had been coming, he felt it for weeks, but still, he felt like shit.

He stood up and followed Harry upstairs, having heard his heavy footsteps. He walked into their bedroom and leant against the wall, arms folded across his chest, completely closing himself off from any attempt at affection. Harry was sat on the edge of their bed, shoulders heaving with his sobs.

“I don’t know how to fix you, Lou, how to fix this,” Harry had said so quietly, Louis had to strain to hear him. “I don’t know what I’ve done to make you hate me. You don’t talk to me anymore, you don’t hug or kiss me. We haven’t had sex for a month, Lou. Is it me? Do you not find me attractive anymore? Don’t you-” Harry cut off with a sob, and Louis couldn’t stop the pull of his heart at that. “Don’t you love me anymore?”

Louis’ silence spoke volumes, even though in all honesty, Harry’s words couldn’t be further from the truth. Louis loved him, more than he’d ever loved anyone in his entire life, but there was a part of him that needed space. He needed a break. He made a quick decision, one he was scared he would regret, but he had to do it. He turned to their wardrobe and lifted a suitcase down from the top shelf, setting it on the bed behind Harry.

“Lou, no-” Harry turned quickly and wrapped his long fingers around Louis’ small wrist, his promise ring Louis had gotten him for his last birthday glinting in the light of the bedside lamp Harry had flicked on when he’d entered the room. Louis dragged his eyes up and tried to fire an apology through them, instead gently pulling away, heading for his chest of drawers.

He didn’t pay much attention to the clothes he was taking from the drawers, heart pounding as he fastened the zip around the case, lifting it with a slight grunt and set it on the floor, lifting up the handle.

“Are you coming back? I mean, are we done? Please don’t say we’re done Lou, you’re my everything, please-” Louis walked around the bed then and pulled Harry to his feet, taking his hands in his, stroking the soft skin with his thumbs. Tears slid down Harry’s cheeks then, his curls held back with the headscarf Louis had bought him for his 18th birthday. Louis leant forward and pressed a fleeting kiss to Harry’s slightly stubbly cheek.

“I’m so sorry.” He squeezed Harry’s hands then before he dropped them, watching as they fell to Harry’s side, Harry not holding back his sobs now. Louis swallowed heavily and didn’t look back as he left the room, carrying his suitcase down the stairs and throwing it into the back seat of his car. What Harry would never know was that Louis stopped down a side street just a minute’s drive from their house and wept, wept for everything he’d lost, wept for the person he’d become, wondering if he was broken beyond repair.

*****

That had been 5 months ago. He’d barely spoken to anyone since then, booking himself a flight out to L.A. where he’d anonymously rented a holiday home, staying alone there for the next few months. He wrote sad song after sad song, throwing most of them in the bin. It was cathartic somehow, letting out his feelings with lyrics but no-one would want to listen to most of it. The only person he wanted to hear it was probably the one person in the world who hated him.

He’d returned to England for his twin sisters birthday, plastering a fake smile onto his face, sitting on the sidelines, watching the jollity around him, wishing he felt something. Anything. In the end, he’d begged off with a headache, sloping off out the front of the house, waving bye to his step-dad and the twins, keen to escape.

As he headed off down the driveway, he’d stopped dead. A familiar car was sat outside, someone Louis had no intention of talking to. He ducked his head and stalked off, hoping the person behind the wheel hadn’t seen him but to no avail as he heard the door open and a voice call his name.

“Louis. Please. Stop.” Louis could hear heels clacking on the pavement behind him and eventually he sighed, coming to a stop, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his black skinny jeans. They were baggy on him. He’d lost his appetite recently, and he knew he’d lost weight because of it. The pouch at his tummy that Harry loved to kiss and rest his head on had all but disappeared, and his cheekbones felt more prominent than usual. It was like he was losing himself.

“Thank you. For not running away from me,” the soft voice said, leading Louis across the road into the small park sat there. It only had a few things for children to play on, but there was a dark wooden bench, and Louis was led over before he was pulled down onto it. He shut his eyes and tilted his head back, arms now crossed on his stomach. “Louis, love. I am so worried about you. We all are. Dan called me and said you were back in town, and I had to see you.” Louis scoffed at that, knowing he probably sounded like a petulant child but he didn’t care at that moment in time.

“What do you want, Anne?” Louis said ,still refusing to look at the woman who had practically been his second mum since he was 19. He felt her take his hand in her own, a comforting motherly gesture that made a lump bubble up in his throat. He missed the comfort only a mother could bring, but he swallowed it back down, trying to close off his emotions again.

“He misses you, you know. He’s come back to stay with me, says your house isn’t a home without you. He’s heartbroken Lou. He doesn’t understand what he did wrong.” Louis sighed again at that, pulling his hands away to rub them over his face, hating hearing the truths Anne spoke. “He doesn’t know I’m here today, seeing you. He’d be here himself if he knew you were back, and I’m not sure that you’d want to see him, even if I don’t understand it myself love.”

“I don’t,” was all Louis could say in reply. He missed Harry so deeply, so badly, but he didn’t know how to fix what he’d broken. Anne took his hand again and this time, Louis stopped resisting. “I miss him, Anne. Of course I do. He’s been my world for 7 years now. But I just can’t right now. I can’t do this. I just-” He stood suddenly, startling Anne. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and walked off, leaving an upset and confused Anne behind him on the bench, wondering how anyone was ever going to get through to Louis.

*****

It had taken another month for Louis to call Anne and apologise. He’d agreed to meet her again, without Harry knowing, and they’d talked in Louis’ hotel room, sipping on tea Louis had called room service for, sat at the small table in the comfy fabric covered chairs.

Anne had chatted for a while about Gemma and Robin and what they’d been up to, waiting until Louis was ready to talk to push him further. “So. How have you been, love?” she’d asked nervously, hoping Louis wouldn’t pull away from her again, feeling she’d made some progress today somehow. Louis just shrugged in reply, starting to shred a napkin, determined to keep his fingers busy so Anne wouldn’t see his trembling fingers.

“Okay, I guess. I’ve, um, been seeing someone…” Anne’s eyes widened and she looked down at the table, shocked by Louis’ words. “Christ, not a bloke. Jesus, I wouldn’t do that to Harry. Sorry, that came out wrong. I’ve seen a, um, god I wish I wasn’t such a fucking idiot and I could just say it.” He released a puff of air from between his lips, clearly frustrated. Anne stood up and shuffled her chair around so she was next to Louis.

“You can tell me anything, Lou, you know that. I won’t judge you, love.” Louis nodded and took another deep breath, this time bringing his face up to meet Anne’s, her kind eyes giving him courage. Her hand held his steady, an anchoring touch he needed just then.

“I’ve seen a counsellor,” he said, worrying his lip between his teeth, heart pounding. Anne was the first person he’d told about this, not even divulging to his manager where he’d been and what he’d been doing. He’d pretty much been off the grid, just as he liked it but now it was out there, he couldn’t stop the flood of words erupting from his mouth.

“Since Mum died, I’ve felt untethered. Like I’ve lost something I can never replace. I don’t think I ever dealt with it, you know? I always told Haz I was fine, that I was coping, but I don’t think I was. Not really, anyway. After I saw you at the twin’s party, I realised something had to change. I remembered how Dan went to talk to someone about his feelings after Mum died, and I thought it was worth a try. It was hard, at first, you know? To talk about it, to tell a stranger how I feel completely dead inside, that I don’t feel like me, like I’ve lost myself.”

“Oh love,” Anne said, taking Louis’ hand again. “I’m so proud of you, and your mum would be too. You know it’s normal to feel like this, don’t you? But you need to let people in, Lou. You need to trust that Harry would never think any less of you because of what you’re going through. He loves you, worships you and all he wants is you, however that comes. You need to let him in Lou, this is eating you both up.”

Louis shook his head quickly, certain that he still wasn’t ready to see Harry, to tell him what had been happening. “I can’t, Anne. I left him, what kind of fucking boyfriend am I? I just walked out without explanation.. I didn’t even say goodbye.” That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Louis finally opened the floodgates, unable to hold back his tears and sobs anymore and just collapsed into Anne’s waiting arms, no more words shared between the two for over an hour. She simply held Louis, shushing him and rubbing a soothing hand over his back, knowing this breakdown would hopefully lead to some sort of breakthrough for the man she’d always considered her second son.

Louis had snuck off to the bathroom after he’d cried himself dry, and splashed cold water onto his face. He rolled up his shirt sleeves, running his wrists under the cool stream of water and sniffed, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He glanced down, stroking the rope tattoo encircling his right wrist with a finger, flooding his mind with the memory of the day he’d got it to complement Harry’s anchor tattoo.

He said goodbye to Anne, but as he went to close the door, he heard her calling his name. He stopped and stuck his head back out, seeing her hurry back down the corridor towards him.

“He’s got a concert here in London, next week. I know you know about it Lou, you planned his tour together. He’d want you there, I know it. Let me sort you out a ticket. I don’t even have to tell him that you’ll be there if you don’t want. But I know your support would mean everything to him.” Louis went to speak but Anne stopped him with another quick hug. “Just - just think about it, okay? Text me and let me know.” She pressed another soft kiss to his cheek and waved, Louis’ heart pounding as he considered her words.

Just 3 days later, he’d replied to Anne, saying he’d be at the concert, and that she could tell Harry he’d be there, even though he couldn’t guarantee he would see him. The reply Louis had received had made his heart skip a beat.

_It means the world to me that you’ll be there. Every word I sing will be for you, as it always has been. I love you, Louis. X_

*****

Louis settled himself into the chair at the box in the Manchester arena, where he’d be sitting alone for the next few hours. The box remained dark, just as he liked it, and Louis nursed a pint of beer, the sweaty condensation sliding down the glass as his warm hand remained around it. He scrolled through Twitter, reading a few messages, fans concerned of his whereabouts after months of being MIA, when there was a soft knock at the door. Louis paused, eyes wide as he wondered who it could be. The door creaked open, and Anne stuck her head in, Louis sighing in relief.

She hurried over and wrapped her arms around Louis’ shoulders, pleased to feel him return the hug. She rested her hands on Louis’ cheeks, pleased to see it didn’t seem like he’d lost any more weight. She’d been texting him more regularly now, keen to check up on him, and he often phoned her after his counselling sessions, recounting what they’d spoken about, finding it cathartic to confide in Anne. She was still the only one he had any kind of contact with, and Louis knew he had to bite the bullet and contact his family soon. He wasn't being fair, and he knew it.

He knew she found it hard that he still refused to speak to or see Harry, not even replying to the heartfelt message Harry had sent when he’d found out Louis would be at the concert. In fact, he’d ignored messages from everyone except Anne, who he felt was the only person he could trust and talk to at the moment. She’d taken that role seriously, and had ensured Louis knew he was always welcome at her home, or that he could call her night or day, whenever he needed anyone. As much as he missed his mum, so desperately sometimes he still cried himself to sleep, he knew he’d always have Anne, and that settled warmly in him.

“You look good, love,” she said, running a finger along the stubble littering Louis’ jaw, pulling gently at the hem of his white t-shirt. Louis smiled back at her, returning the compliment, meaning every word. They talked for a while, and she explained that she was going to be down on the floor with Gemma if he wanted to join them. He shook his head quickly at that, telling her wanted to stay out of sight and she understood, hugging him again before promising to catch up with him before they left.

The support act came and went, Louis tapping his feet along with the rhythm of the music, feeling excited to be back somewhere he felt so comfortable, so at home. He’d always loved being on stage, being surrounded by people who supported and cared for him, loved seeing the delighted faces of the crowds as they sang along, beaming smiles lighting up their faces. He lived for that part of his job, and missed it desperately. But he’d been content enough with Harry’s career, helping arrange the second leg of his world tour before it had all fallen apart.

The pre-show playlist rang through the arena, songs he and Harry had spent hours choosing together - everything from Shania Twain, to The Beatles, and even one of their own tracks, ‘Olivia’. Screams filled the arena as Liam’s opening vocals rang out, everyone singing along, Louis unable to stop himself harmonising along to the words. They’d never performed Olivia live, had gone on hiatus before they’d had the chance to perform the ‘Made in the AM’ album, but now, Louis felt like he was getting a little preview of what it would be like.

Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and the animations on the black screen surrounding the stage lit up the room, a haze of anticipation and frenzy settling over the sold-out arena now. Louis leant forward, making sure he kept his head back far enough he couldn’t be seen, but he wanted to make sure he had a clear view, that he could immerse himself in this experience.

The opening notes of Harry’s song ‘Only Angel’ rang out, lights above the screen making it seem like Harry would be emerging as if from heaven. Louis hadn’t seen any kind of livestreams or anything so far, this was entirely new to him and he was completely mesmerised, watching as the screen began to lift slowly, revealing the shadow of his Harry bit by bit. Louis’ heart was pounding, and as the drums and guitars kicked in, he watched with pride as Harry marched around the stage in his bright blue suit, blowing kisses to the audience, contorting his body into all manner of weird and wonderful moves.

Louis sang along to the first few songs, as familiar to him as his own, and the multitude of One Direction hits they’d sang over the years. Harry’s low voice had rumbled out across the arena to a cacophony of screams, Louis unable to wipe the grin off his face at Harry’s ridiculous banter, strutting across the stage as if he belonged there, which, of course, he did. Harry had always felt at home on stage, singing his heart out in front of thousands of people, and Louis felt like a fanboy right there and then, desperate to get some sort of interaction from the man on the stage.

Harry seamlessly segued into ‘Ever Since New York’, and then slowed it down with ‘Two Ghosts’, the tune he’d written for Louis during a slight bad patch a few years ago. Louis felt emotional as he watched Harry’s face fill the big screen, eyes shut as he sang passionately, no doubt remembering the first time he’d played it back to Louis, the pair crying in each other’s arms as the emotion washed over them.

After ‘Carolina’, the song that had the audience chanting along, and the people in the pits jumping wildly to the beat, Harry started chatting to the crowd again. Louis, however, could see a change in Harry’s demeanour, however hard he was trying to hide it from the 20,000 people in the arena. Harry’s eyes were everywhere, scanning the boxes nearest the stage on both sides for any sign of Louis, and Louis shrank back, unwilling to reveal himself to Harry just yet, despite the fact he knew Harry knew he was there.

Harry chatted easily with members of the audience, engaging them in a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday for some young fan, who was no doubt videoing every moment, keen to relive it with her friends and family long after the concert had finished and was a distant memory. Louis had always admired how Harry worked the crowds, had them eating out the palm of his hand and it seemed nothing had changed. Harry had a confidence and swagger about him as he navigated the stage, sharing little looks and waves with people on the floor, his band stood behind him. Louis had honestly never felt prouder.

One of his past hits, ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ began playing, and Louis loved how Harry had changed up the melody of this one, making it different enough that it was his own take on a popular song from the band’s touring days. Before he started his next song though, Harry paused and shushed the audience.

“The next one I wrote a few years ago, but I gave it away. Just like I gave away my heart. I was lucky enough to get a special someone’s back in return, and I hope they know they’ll always have mine, all I ask for is theirs back in return.” The arena was silent then, mulling over Harry’s words. Louis sniffed, feeling emotional at Harry’s declaration. They’d never publicly denied or confirmed their relationship, but Louis knew the rumours were rife on social media, most people believing he and Harry had been romantically involved for years. He and Harry had discussed going public before Louis had had his breakdown, and now he wondered if Harry would ever consider it, now he’d destroyed the trust the man he loved had given him so willingly all those years ago.

Hysteria filled the venue as Harry strummed the final few chords of ‘Meet Me In The Hallway’, the band continuing to play the instrumental tune as Harry made his way off stage, through the gangway created for him by metal barriers, greeting and touching fans as he made his way to the b-stage in the middle of the arena. He stood proudly with Mitch, his guitarist, and Louis watched on, mesmerised at how easily Harry commanded silence in the room, face again lighting up the screen at one end of the room.

“This one is called Sweet Creature.” Mitch plucked at the strings of his guitar, and soon Harry’s dulcet tones filled the room. Louis hummed along, feeling the hairs on his arms stand up on end as Harry’s words, words he’d written for him, filled the room, 20,000 people singing along with him. Harry had written the song for him when they were in Jamaica, laying together on the beach, entwined with each other. It was one of Louis’ favourite ever memories, and hearing Harry singing them aloud with such passion made him love his boy even more.

Mitch left the stage after that, and Harry began his monologue, talking to a few excitable young fans near the stage before he spoke to a near-silent arena.

“I wrote this one back in 2015. I’ve enjoyed performing it on this tour, but tonight, it means more than ever before. Tonight, I’m singing it to the person I love. If you know the words, please do join me. This is ‘If I Could Fly’.” Harry strummed a few notes easily on his guitar, and a disco ball hanging from the room cast a warm, yellow glow over everyone. This song had always meant everything to Louis, and he knew he’d be forever changed hearing this. He suddenly made a decision, a bold move he might live to regret, but stuff it.

He stood up and headed out of his box, baseball cap pulled down low on his head as his all-access pass dangled around his neck, a silver and rainbow silhouette of Harry adorning the middle of it, Harry’s ‘Treat People With Kindness’ motto emblazoned at the bottom. He headed through the arena, through the corridors as familiar to him as his hometown and paused outside the doors heading for the floor. He took a deep breath and pushed them open, sliding past the security guards who stared at him with wide eyes.

Louis knew the eyes of the audience near him would be on him in a flash, and he hurried forwards, stopping at a metal barrier in front of Harry as he finished the last chorus. Harry opened his eyes and paused, eyes gazing around, smiling at the fans. Louis felt his heart stop as Harry’s eyes finally rested on him, nearly 6 long months after they’d last set eyes on each other. Harry bit his bottom lip, eyes glassy with emotion, swallowing hard, trying to hold back his tears as Louis just stared, a small smile stretching his lips.

“ _I’ve got scars…_ ” Harry started to sing, not removing his eyes from Louis’. Fans were starting to pick up on the fact that Harry was staring at someone, singing to them even but Louis didn’t care. He couldn’t move. His feet felt like they were buried in concrete, that he was stuck to the floor. “ _For your eyes only, I’ll show you my heart. For when you’re lonely, and forget who you are. I’m missing half of me, when we’re apart-”_ Louis could hear Harry’s voice shake at those lyrics, and he tried to smile encouragingly as Harry launched into the bridge. He stepped forward at Harry’s pivotal line. “ _I hope that you don’t run from me…_ ”

“I won’t,” Louis mouthed to Harry, shaking his head softly as he watched his boyfriend’s eyes fill with tears. Screams filled the arena as they waited for Harry to continue, and Louis knew everyone was looking at the pair of them, he could hear his name being shouted, but he was entirely oblivious. The only person he wanted to look at him was right there in front of him, staring at him like he was the sun, the stars, and the moon.

“Your turn,” Harry said lowly, playing his instrument as the crowd sang along, still unable to drag his eyes away from Louis. Harry joined back in on the final chorus, and bowed when he finished, smiling secretly over to Louis. The introduction to Harry’s next song rang out, the band unable to know what had happened and Harry reluctantly turned away, beginning his jog back to the main stage for his new song ‘Anna’. Louis kept his head down and headed for the mixing desk area, where he knew Anne and Gemma would be stood.

He flashed his pass as the security guard let him through, and was suddenly smothered with hugs, 2 women pressed tightly up against him. Louis laughed and hugged them back, pulling away to kiss them both on the cheek.

“Thank you Lou, he needed you so much, I- god, that was so emotional,” Anne said, wiping a tear from under her eyelid, trying not to smudge her make-up.

“Hey, you twat,” Gemma said in her usual jokey manner, punching Louis softly on the arm. “Glad you’re here.” Her soft smile and fond gaze was all Louis needed to know that Gemma had forgiven him, that she didn’t hate him for breaking Harry’s heart all those months ago. They couldn’t chat due to the volume of the music, but he never dropped Anne’s hand, holding it through Anna and Harry’s amazing rendition of ‘What Makes You Beautiful’, a huge smile crossing Louis’ face as he watched Harry dance across the stage, a pride flag in each hand, waving them around wildly with a huge smile.

“You gave him courage to do that,” Anne shouted into his ear. “He’s strong and brave because he has you.” Louis swallowed down a sob at that, and just locked eyes with Anne, trying to tell her through his gaze that Harry was what made him strong too, that he couldn’t be without his other half, no matter what happened. He only hoped Harry could forgive him.

“Wow London, you are amazing tonight, so loud! Thank you for joining me. I have a few thank you’s to make before we go into the next one, and it’s a bit of a change from the usual set list so please bear with me. Firstly, thank you to all the people backstage who make this concert happen night after night. They’re here long before I get here, and stay long after I’ve gone, it wouldn’t be possible without them, so please give them a massive cheer.” The audience screamed and applauded, and Louis knew Harry always made time to thank the people who never were seen by the fans, the ones who made the magic happen.

“Secondly, thank you to my wonderful friends and family for all their support over the last 8 years or so, especially since my album came out. My mum and my sister are here tonight, I love you guys.” Harry blew a kiss over in the direction he knew they were stood at, and stilled as he saw Louis’ figure stood holding Anne, an arm laying around her shoulders now. “Thirdly, to you guys, the fans. Without you, I couldn’t do this. They don’t let me do this if you don’t come, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. I owe you my life, thank you for your amazing support, for your signs, your flags. You are all amazing, I love you all from the bottom of my heart.” Thunderous applause filled the arena then, and Louis took a quick mental note of all the flags around the room, colourful and proud.

“Finally, thank you to… well, my person. You know who you are. You’ve given me the courage to stand up here every night and to do what I do, and I love you. I’ve always loved you, and I always will. There’s nothing you can do that will ever make me stop loving you. You’re all I want. This next one's for you. I haven’t sang this one live before, but if you know it, sing along.” Harry finally swept his gaze around the room, Louis gulping, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat as he watched Harry pick up his acoustic guitar, strumming the first few familiar notes.

_When will I see you again?_  
_You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said_  
_No final kiss to seal anything_ _  
I had no idea of the state we were in_

_I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness_  
_And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head_  
  
_But don't you remember, don't you remember?_  
_The reason you loved me before_ _  
Baby please remember me once more_

_When was the last time you thought of me?_  
_Or have you completely erased me from your memories?_  
_I often think about where I went wrong_ _  
The more I do, the less I know_

_But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness_  
_And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head_  
  
_But don't you remember, don't you remember?_  
_The reason you loved me before_ _  
Baby please remember me once more_

Louis was crying now, looking at the heartfelt expression on Harry’s face as he sang, eyes closed, belting out every powerful lyric. Louis listened to the words, taking them in, guilt swamping his heart at the fact Harry had chosen to sing this song to him, hoping Louis would remember how Harry loved him, and how he’d loved Harry. But truly, he’d never stopped. Not ever. As Harry reached the bridge, Louis sobbed openly, feeling Gemma and Anne wrap their arms around Louis’ waist, holding him up.

_Oh, I gave you the space so you could breathe_  
_I kept my distance so you would be free_  
_In hope that you find the missing piece_ _  
To bring you back to me_

_Why don't you remember, don't you remember?_  
_The reason you loved me before_  
_Baby please remember me once more_  
_  
When will I see you again?_

The arena erupted into more applause and screams as Harry finished, and let out an audible ‘awwww’ as they watched Harry swipe away his tears from his cheeks, lifting off the guitar and handing it to the tech behind him. Louis couldn’t bear it. He squeezed Anne and Gemma’s sides before pulling away, Anne sending him a questioning look before her jaw dropped.

Louis pushed his way out from the mixing desk into the aisle, the crowd in the pits going mad as Louis made his way towards the stage. Harry was still facing the back, sipping from his water bottle, entirely unaware of what was happening. He must have heard the bellows behind him because he spun around, and just… stopped. His heart was pounding, and Louis felt shaky as he made his way up the small metal staircase at the front of the stage. The arena was wild by now, everyone realising what was happening as Louis stepped closer to Harry and stopped in front of him.

“Lou - what, oh my god, do you know what you’re doing?” Harry questioned, wanting to reach and touch Louis, but he felt uncertain, he didn’t know what Louis was offering.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” Louis replied, stepping up to Harry and pulling him into a fierce hug. Harry’s hands snaked around Louis’ back, gripping at the white cotton of his t-shirt as he buried his face into Louis’ neck, Louis feeling the wet trail of Harry’s tears sneak down past his collar, resting at his shoulders. “I love you so much, so so much. And I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you away, I just, I think I just lost myself for a while. But I’m home now. You’re my home, Haz.” Louis pulled back enough to lay a soft peck on Harry’s lips, not wanting to give the fans any more than he already had.

“Wait for me,” Harry hurried to say as he knew Louis needed to get off stage. “Don’t run away againn, please?” Louis’ heart broke as he heard Harry beg and he hugged him again.

“I won’t. I’m done running. I’m done with being alone. I just want you, you’re all I’ve wanted love. I’ll be backstage, yeah? You’re doing amazing, sing those last songs then you can take me home.” Harry nodded and kissed Louis again, ignoring the yells from the audience as their moments were captured on camera, beamed out across the video screens. Louis turned and smiled, raising a hand in greeting to the audience and hurried offstage, colliding with more familiar faces, hugging him as he watched proudly as Harry belted out Sign of the Times.

The arena was lit up with the lights of people’s phones, and Louis sang along, remembering how amazing it had been to watch Harry perform this song for the first time, hearing that he’d gone to number one in the UK with it, hearing that he’d won the Brit Award for Best Music Video for it. He’d not been there to celebrate with Harry, hadn’t even bothered sending him a congratulations text but he was going to make up for it now.

Harry appeared beside him, dragging him into a deep kiss as the audience chanted for him, ready for the encore.

“Fuck, I can’t believe you did that. You’re really here Lou, I love you, love you so much. Don’t ever leave me again baby, okay?” Louis nodded and returned the kiss before he shoved Harry back on-stage with a grin, hearing a hush fall over the arena as he sang ‘From the Dining Table’. The pace picked up for the last two songs, and Louis laughed as he watched Harry completely lose it as he performed Kiwi. Adam turned and smiled at him when he heard Louis’ laughs, and Harry winked at him before he took a gulp from his water to complete his infamous ending.

Louis leapt into Harry’s arms as he appeared once more at the side of the stage, the post-show playlist ringing out now. They hugged, ignoring the well wishes and pats from the band as they passed them, lost in each other.

“Take me home, Haz,” Louis whispered into Harry’s ear, and those were the four words Harry had been waiting to hear for 6 long months, but if he was honest, he’d have waited forever for them, as long as Louis came home to him, where he belonged.

*****

“Love you, gonna love you forever, gonna marry you and have babies with you,” Harry moaned as he pushed himself deeper inside Louis. They’d already made love once that night, Louis practically ripping Harry’s _Calvin Klein_ suit from his body the minute they’d entered Harry’s posh hotel suite, Harry tearing at Louis’ t-shirt and skinny jeans in frustration. Louis had taken Harry over the side of the bed, the emotion pouring out from the pair of them as they declared their love for each other, Louis eventually flipping Harry over and staring deep into his eyes as he came inside him, his first orgasm since he’d left Harry all those months ago.

Louis had lost any kind of sex drive until tonight, but his body wanted Harry tonight, desperately in fact. Harry had been just as eager, missing Louis’ touch and kisses, and they didn’t hold back, shouting, screaming and moaning as they teased each other, turned each other on. They’d fallen asleep after the first bout of sex, and Louis had woken to Harry rubbing himself against Louis’ leg. He’d opened him up slowly, tenderly, pressing kisses all of his body until Louis was practically begging for it, Harry keen not to waste a second.

“Harder Harry, wanna feel you, need you so much, I’m so sorry, so sorry baby-” Harry stopped him with a deep kiss, his hips continuing to thrust back and forth in a mesmerising rhythm, loving the knock of Louis’ heels on his lower back as their sweaty bodies moved together.

“Stop. I forgive you, okay? We’ll talk tomorrow, let me show you how much I love you and I’ve missed you, please Lou,” Harry begged, bending down to kiss Louis yet again. Their lips were red and swollen, unable to stop kissing each other since they’d been reunited, and Louis only wished he had done this months ago. His Harry was all he wanted, and he’d nearly thrown it all away.

He nodded quietly, and they kissed as Harry continued to move inside of him, driving them both ever closer to their finish, needing the release an orgasm would bring them. Harry stroked Louis, still clutching at his other hand beside Louis’ head and he kissed him through his climax, feeling Louis’ release coat his hand, not stopping until he finished himself with a cry of Louis’ name. They stayed together, linked for a while before Harry pulled out, quickly cleaning them up with his tank top from the show.

“I’m not sure Calvin Klein intending on you using their clothes as a come-rag, love,” Louis joked as Harry slid into the covers next to him, letting his arm stretch out to bring Harry closer, feeling Harry lay a heavy leg across his own. Harry just laughed at Louis’ statement, pushing a spiky bit of fringe out of Louis’ eyes with gentle fingers before he kissed his lips again.

“Are we okay?” Harry said softly, as Louis shuffled onto his side. He felt nervous despite the fact they’d had sex twice now, Louis telling him throughout how sorry he was and how much he loved him. He was so scared of losing Louis again, sure he wouldn’t be able to cope with that level of heartbreak another time.

“We’re okay baby. I promise. I am so sorry, I’ll never forgive myself for what I did. You didn’t deserve that, and I’m lucky you still want me and you still love me. I’m so sorry Harry. You’re my everything, and well, the world knows that now, right?” Harry grinned and nodded, pushing his blushing face down into Louis’ shoulder, warm at the memory of Louis making such a public declaration of love at his show.

“I still can’t believe you did that,” he breathed out, trying to remember the exact moment he realised his Louis was there, both at the b-stage, and when he appeared on the main stage with him. He’d felt like electricity was zapping through his veins, and he couldn’t wait to look at Twitter and Tumblr later to see some videos of the moment. There was sometimes an upside to social media, he thought with a smile.

“All or nothing, right? Seriously, Harry. We’ll talk properly tomorrow, but you have to know this was never about you, or me not loving you or anything like that. I’ll tell you everything, I swear. This was always about me, me not dealing with how I felt. I never stopped loving you Harry, not for one minute. You’ve always been it for me, since we were 16 and 19, you know that. You’re the most gorgeous man in the world, and I am proud you’re mine, and I love you. So much. Always.” He kissed Harry again, moaning lowly as Harry’s tongue grazed his own.

“I love you too.” And that was it. Harry knew he was loved, and that he loved Louis unconditionally in return. It was all he wanted. His career could fall apart tomorrow, but as long as he had Louis, he knew he’d be okay. Louis was his forever, his endgame, his everything. And now the world knew. Harry had never been happier. As long as they had each other, they’d be okay. That was the one thing in life both he and Louis knew without question.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please consider [reblogging the tumblr fic post](https://chloehl10.tumblr.com/post/172928315886/dont-you-remember-by-lovelarry10-now-on-ao3). Many thanks!
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Edit: There will be several follow-ups to this story, different time-stamps. I hope you will be reading those too. Thank you.


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